Tag Archives: west wing

Letter to Dr. Laura


I saw this posted on Facebook today and, as I am wont to do, immediately went to Snopes to check its backstory.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,

This letter was written in response to Dr. Laura’s constantly stated opinion that homosexuality was wrong because the Bible said it was.

The biggest thing I learned, and the reason the letter sounded familiar to me, is that Aaron Sorkin pulled bits from it for The West Wing – The Midterms episode. Such an awesome show and Martin Sheen delivered speeches like this one with such ease and grace.

Um, West Wing fans? Come have a look.


Fangirl squee. That is all I can say. If you love West Wing, you will love this campaign video.

Mary McCormack’s sister, Bridget Mary McCormack, is running for the Michigan Supreme Court. How amazing that the cast still get along enough to do this. So many little tidbits are so squee worthy. I shall leave it up to you to find them.



West Wing Pilot Quotes


Agent #1: It’s a nice morning, Mr. McGarry.
Leo McGarry: We’ll take care of that in a hurry, won’t we, Mike?
Agent #1: Yes sir.

Mallory O’Brian: I’m sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?
Sam Seaborn: In this particular area, yes.
Mallory O’Brian: The 18th president was Ulysses S. Grant and the Roosevelt Room was named for Theodore.
Sam Seaborn: Really?
Mallory O’Brian: There’s like a six-foot painting on the wall of Teddy Roosevelt.
Sam Seaborn: I should have put two and two together.
Mallory O’Brian: Yes.
Sam Seaborn: The thing is while there really are a great many things on which I can speak with authority, I’m not good at talking about the White House.
Mallory O’Brian: You’re the White House Deputy Communications Director and you’re not good at talking about the White House?
Sam Seaborn: Ironic, isn’t it?

John Van Dyke: If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn’t that too high a price to pay for free speech?
President Josiah Bartlet: No.
John Van Dyke: Really?
President Josiah Bartlet: On the other hand, I think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.

Toby Ziegler: I’m going to make a suggestion which might help you out, but I don’t want this gesture to be mistaken for an indication that I like you.

Leo McGarry: He’s a klutz, Mrs. Landingham, your president’s a geek.

[after the President is injured in a bike accident]
Mrs. Landingham: Oh, Mr. McGarry, have they done an X-ray?
Leo McGarry: Yup.
Mrs. Landingham: Is anything broken?
Leo McGarry: A four-thousand-dollar “Lynex Titanium” touring bike that I swore I’d never lend anyone.

Leo McGarry: Luther, ballpark, one year from today, where’s the Dow?
Economist #1: Tremendous. Up a thousand.
Leo McGarry: Fred, one year from today?
Economist #2: Not good. Down a thousand.
Leo McGarry: A year from today at least one of you’s gonna look pretty stupid.

Leo McGarry: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. Yes, 17 across is wrong… You’re spelling his name wrong… What’s my name? My name doesn’t matter. I am just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation. And I’m telling you that I met the man twice. And I recommended a pre-emptive Exocet missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how…
C.J. Cregg: Leo.
Leo McGarry: They hang up on me every time.

C.J. Cregg: Is there anything I can say other than the President rode his bicycle into a tree?
Leo McGarry: He hopes never to do it again.
C.J. Cregg: Seriously, they’re laughing pretty hard.
Leo McGarry: He rode his bicycle into a tree, C.J., what do you want me – the President, while riding his bicycle, came to a sudden arboreal stop.

Leo McGarry: Margaret, please call the editor of the New York Times crossword and tell him that Khaddafi is spelled with an H and two D’s and isn’t a seven-letter word for anything.

Toby Ziegler: You think the United States is under attack from 1,200 Cubans in rowboats?
Sam Seaborn: I’m not saying I don’t like our chances.
Toby Ziegler: Mind-boggling to me we ever won an election.

[talking about the President’s bike accident]
Donna Moss: And what was the cause of the accident?
Leo McGarry: What are you, from State Farm?

[President Bartlet’s first line]
President Josiah Bartlet: “I am the Lord your God, thou shalt worship no other god before me.” Boy, those were the days, huh?

Laurie: Tell your friend POTUS he’s got a funny name, and he should learn how to ride a bicycle.
Sam Seaborn: I would, but he’s not my friend; he’s my boss. It’s not his name, it’s his title.
Laurie: POTUS?
Sam Seaborn: President of the United States. I’ll call ya.

Sam Seaborn: Ms. O’Brian, I understand your feelings, but please believe me when I tell you that I am a nice guy having a bad day. I just found out the Times is publishing a poll that says that a considerable portion of Americans feel that the White House has lost energy and focus. A perception that is not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. As we speak, the Coast Guard are fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean, while the governor of Florida wants to blockade the port of Miami. A good friend of mine is about to get fired for going on television and making sense. And it turns out that I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night. Now, would you please in the name of compassion tell me which one of those kids is my boss’s daughter?
Mallory O’Brian: That would be me.
Sam Seaborn: You.
Mallory O’Brian: Yes.
Sam Seaborn: Leo’s daughter’s first-grade class.
Mallory O’Brian: Yes.
Sam Seaborn: Well, this is bad on so many levels.

[discussing a large group of Cubans currently floating from Havana to Miami on rafts]
Leo McGarry: How many are there?
Josh Lyman: We don’t know.
Leo McGarry: What time exactly did they leave?
Josh Lyman: We don’t know.
Leo McGarry: Do we know when they get here?
Josh Lyman: No.
Leo McGarry: True or false: If I were to stand on high ground in Key West with a good pair of binoculars, I’d be as informed as I am right now.
Josh Lyman: That’s true.
Leo McGarry: The Intelligence budget’s money well spent.

President Josiah Bartlet: Mrs. Landingham, what’s next?

Josh Lyman: Lady, the god you pray to is too busy being indicted for tax fraud.

Toby Ziegler: I agree with Josh and I agree with C.J. and I agree with Sam. And you know how that makes me crazy…

Billy: Just tell me who to call.
Sam Seaborn: Well, you could call 1-800-BITE-ME

Toby Ziegler: We’re flying in a Lockheed Eagle series L1011. It came off the line 20 months ago. It carries a Sim-5 Transponder tracking system. Are you telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?

[first line, offscreen]
Bartender: Two Absolut martinis up, another Dewars rocks.

[Sam’s first line]
Sam Seaborn: I don’t think we’re going to run the table, if that’s what you’re asking.

[Leo’s first line]
Leo McGarry: 17 across is wrong, it’s just wrong. Do you believe that, Ruth?

[C.J.’s first line]
C.J. Cregg: You can have a normal life. You’d be amazed at how normal I can be, See, it’s all about budgeting your time. This time, this hour – this is my time. 5:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. I can work out, as you see. I can think about personal matters. I can… meet an interesting man. The trick is…
[C.J.’s pager goes off]

[Josh’s first line]
Josh Lyman: Yeah, this is Josh Lyman. What’s going on?

[Toby’s first line]
Toby Ziegler: I’m just about done.

[Donna’s first line]
Donna Moss: Morning, Leo.

[Mrs. Landingham’s first line]
Mrs. Landingham: Oh, Mr. McGarry, have they done an X-ray?

[Mandy’s first line]
Mandy Hampton: Bruce? Bruce? Bruce? I may have just gotten back into the business this morning, but I didn’t come by way of a turnip truck, you know what I’m saying?

President Josiah Bartlet: With the clothes on their backs, they came through a storm. And those that didn’t die want a better life. And they want it here. Talk about impressive. My point is this: break’s over.

John Van Dyke: The First Commandment says Honor thy father.
Toby Ziegler: No it doesn’t
Josh Lyman: Toby…
Toby Ziegler: It doesn’t.
Josh Lyman: Listen…
Toby Ziegler: No if I’m going to make you sit through this preposterous exercise, we’re going to get the names of the damn commandments right.
Mary Marsh: Okay. Here we go.
Toby Ziegler: Honor thy father is the Third Commandment.
John Van Dyke: Then what’s the First Commandment?
President Josiah Bartlet: I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt worship no other god before me. Boy, those were the days, huh?