Tag Archives: let’s pretend this never happened

Jenny Lawson – Audible – “Listen For A Change Mom & Daughter”

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Her mom saw the commercial first. I don’t think Jenny had a clue this was in the works.

http://thebloggess.com/2018/09/25/im-a-star-and-i-didnt-even-have-to-leave-my-house/

Jenny Lawson / The Bloggess, Wolf Blitzer and Me

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This post is a record of excellent timing.

I’d spent Saturday, May 19, at The Gaithersburg Book Festival with Jenny Lawson, where she was appearing as part of the second leg of the Let’s Pretend this Never Happened book tour.  Police escorts, hilarity and what was probably the longest signing line ever seen there, ensued. I missed out on the signing because I had a birthday party to go to. In the end, the timing was wonderful.

I literally left the reading, drove home, got ready in 5 minutes and then we were on our way to the Metro. The party was held at a restaurant in the District. The birthday boy is a former CNNer and various people who still work at the Washington Bureau attended, including Wolf Blitzer.

After verifying with friends that it wouldn’t offend Wolf if I asked for an autograph, I waited until he came to talk to my husband, who had been a CNNer for 25 years.

Once Steve and Wolf got greetings out of the way, I began my request “Wolf, this is gonna seem kinda strange but I’ve followed a blogger for years and she wrote a book and will be doing a reading tomorrow in Annapolis that I’m going to. She’s a big fan of yours and I was wondering if I could get an autograph for her. Her book debuted at #1 on the NYT Best Seller’s list.” “Oh? Fiction?” “No, non fiction.” “What’s it called?” “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.”

Fortunately, I always keep a small marbled composition notebook and sharpie in my bag. Once we got home, I found a 3″ x 5″ frame for the autograph. I brought it with me on Sunday (along with Ron Weasel-y’s scarf) to give to Jenny.

The Annapolis reading will need to be a whole ‘nother post because that Barnes & Noble completely got the Bloggess.

Jenny Lawson / The Bloggess in Gaithersburg

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So, as previous posts have made quite clear, I’m a bit of a fan of Jenny Lawson / The Bloggess.  A teeny, tiny fan. Yeah, that’s it. (Would you like to see my Lawsbian Pride t-shirt? It’s in my closet…)

When she was on her book tour for Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, I was initially disappointed that her only east coast date was in NYC. Knowing Jenny suffers from anxiety, I wasn’t going to beg and plead for a local appearance. If something came close, so be it.

Then the second leg of the tour was announced. Was there a date locally? No, there wasn’t one date – there were TWO!!! She was going to appear in Gaithersburg, Maryland on Saturday, May 19, and in Annapolis, Maryland, on Sunday, May 20. Woohoo, look at me and my Bloggess filled weekend.

The Saturday appearance was at The Gaithersburg Book Festival. All the various authors were appearing in different tents with 20-30 minute time slots. Not doubting the power of the Bloggess, I arrived two and a half hours early. The first thing I noticed was the large police presence. It struck me as odd until I remembered Jenny’s tweets about how freaked out the manager of the Buckhead, GA Barnes & Noble was about the number of peeps who’d appeared for her signing.

I went right to the tent she would be appearing in and sat through a couple of other authors, moving closer and closer to the podium as the audience came and went. I ended up sitting in the first row to the right side of the podium. (Well, right side as you looked out from the stage, left side as you looked at the podium.) I was just sitting there and knitting when a man sat next to me. Oh, “Hi there Baratunde Thurston, author of How To Be Black.” He was there for the 5 or so minutes while waiting for his turn to speak. He asked what I was making but before I could answer, a volunteer from the festival interrupted. I tweeted to him the next day – @baratunde Hi. Sat next to you before your presentation. You asked what I was making. It’s a scarf, for a weasel who belongs to @TheBloggess.

Yes, I was knitting Ron Weasel-y’s scarf. (I gave it to her in Annapolis though as I had to leave right after the festival to go to a birthday party.) You may have heard my squeal of delight when she posted this pic on her blog –

Tell me this picture doesn’t get you singing the Chaka Khan song….

So, Baratunde spoke and I kept on knitting. He was actually really engaging – if you get a chance to hear him speak, please do so. You won’t be disappointed. There were two more authors before Jenny was scheduled to appear. Steve Coll of Washington Post fame was the speaker before Jenny. His discussion was all about the Exxon Valdez oil spill. As he spoke I watched as the sparse audience filled up. Soon all the seats were taken and then the crowd started to line up on the outer perimeter. Completely standing room only. I wish I’d thought to video the crowd. It was ginormous. Once he left, there was a scramble to get the few seats that were given up. Then it was time for The Bloggess.

Every other author who’d come in had a volunteer with them as well as a spokesperson from the Book Store that was sponsoring the Festival. What did Jenny have? She had a police escort. Literally, two officers in front, two in back, plus others thrown in in case they weren’t enough. It was Amazeballs!  The book store peep introduced her and then she came on stage. It was a great presentation and I videoed all of it. (Is videoed a word? If not, it should be.)  She read “The Psychopath on the Other Side of the Bathroom Door” from LPTNH and did a Q&A. I was hoping to film the police escort out of the tent but she had a lot of people come up to her at the end, which is why the video ends sort of weirdly. Grab a Diet Coke or a Wine Slushie, get some popcorn and prepare to be amused.

And she wins, big.

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So, I’ve been reading Jenny Lawson’s blog, The Bloggess, for years now. Learning that she was writing a book was cool – a whole book filled with stuff like her blog? Yes, please, sign me up. I lived vicariously through the editing, through the picking out of cover artwork, through the tales of time spent recording the audio book.

Then the countdown was on for publication of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. Finally we could preorder the book. I did, and paid for mine (indirectly) with Christmas Lights. (Best method of payment, ever, imho.) I requested a signed Hamlet von Schnitzel bookplate. Then I saw all the bookplates Jenny had to sign and I felt really guilty for requesting it. There were book trailers, and people being held at knifepoint, claiming to be Jenny Lawson. Honestly, a fun time was had by all.

At last, April 17th was here and I was at Barnes and Noble at opening so that I could be the first to buy the book. (But first, I had to give it a better location as well as multiple facings on the New Fiction table.) Oh, and yes, I know I preordered it but I was going to send a copy to my big kid who lives in Chicago. I had other erranding to do so stopped at a Books-a-Million and reset their New Fiction display as well.

Finally I was home and I could read the book. I am all about a book that causes me to laugh out loud. This book did that and more. Oh my goodness. There were bits that had me crying as well but you know what? Rollercoasters are fun and sometimes you just have to get on, strap in and throw your hands in the air. (Oh, change a couple of prepositions around and I could be talking about a whole different kinda book…) Finished it the next morning and was happy to see via Twitter that Jenny’s book tour in progress was a success.

It’s a week later. In addition to the two copies I bought, I also bought the audiobook version. I’m all about the outtakes and the bonus chapter. Balls. Oh, and VAGINA! Excellent. I plan on loading the book onto my iPod so that I can listen to it on plane trips and car rides. I hope I’m sitting next to people who don’t mind maniacal laughter from their seatmates.

I’m happy to say that I helped in a tiny way to get Jenny to a coveted place for writers – The New York Times Best Sellers List. Look at whose first book debuted at Number 1 –

Victor will never ever be allowed to forget this. Perhaps we could hire someone to walk into rooms before The Bloggess and announce “New York Times Best Selling Author, Jenny Lawson.” (Oh, and it’s jEnny, not jInny. Don’t forget.)

P.S. Note to self – do not listen to the HR chapter of this book while driving with the windows down. People tend to look at you funny if they think you’re asking about their penis.