Mike Nesmith on Love


Mike posted this on his Facebook page yesterday, 12/8/12.

It may be that a brutish or loutish advance will ignite the passions in some, but I have found that the truest love has a gentleness, a tenderness, and a kindness that for me is the most attractive element of character.

I suppose we treat each other harshly with our permissions sometimes — rough play, rough sex, rough language — but even with permission, something goes wanting, and the small quiet voice is often silenced when it needs to be heard.

This is specifically why I don’t enjoy pranks, ridicule, or mockery in humor. The practical joke is not a joke to me; never has been. I can’t understand why we would knowingly make a fool of each other. It’s hard enough when we really are foolish, but to be held up as a fool is torture. I know. I have been on the receiving end of many jokes. They do not make me angry — they make me sad.

We are fragile creatures, all. We have very little time together in the scheme of things. Should we not at the very least choose the graceful and courteous in our exchanges? By this I mean more than “just getting along”. I mean the outreach of good will and trust, and the encouragement of appreciation and approval.

We are entering our gift giving season for the next few weeks — revisiting old friends and distant relations — and exchanging tokens of affection. I find there is much to learn here — how to receive and give and how to avoid the sharp word and censure — even if it is said in jest.

I am deeply, deeply saddened by the Hospital prank and its horrible outcome — it has rocked me back on my heels.

It has made me retake my own vows to be even more gentle, sensitive and careful with another’s frail and unsuspecting heart.

My wish for this season is to learn more about what it really means to love.

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