Mike Nesmith on loneliness


Mike posted this on his Facebook page on October 10th.

Living alone is not bad. Loneliness is no fun, but actually living by yourself has its moments of redemption. Still, there are certain events that happen when one is alone that rise to the level of catastrophe just because you are alone. Like spills.

Especially kitchen spills.

There was a time I could drop a glass jar of mayonnaise and have it break apart on a carpet and just brush past the whole thing when there was a partner to help and console.

Alone, however, a simple coffee-over-the-rim spill can send me into a rage — I would say “tears”, but I won’t.

In a time long past someone very close to me who lived alone at the time would call occasionally and report that something had happened — one of life’s collisions — and that it was a “nightmare”.

I would remind her that World War II was a nightmare. The local systems failures are just slips and slides. Now I say the same thing to myself.

It helps to have someone talk you in off the ledge but there are times when the only one to talk you in is yourself — and here is where Facebook helps. The collective “awww” is consoling on so many levels — as fatuous as it is — still it helps –like a kiss on a scratch.

The other burdensome thing about living alone, again I’m not complaining, is that things left unsaid build up — stacks of things to say and observations of the day start to fill the little junk drawer that is in our head until it won’t close anymore.

We all have secret lives deep in the chambers of our thoughts. This is not that. We also have open lives which we share in words, actions, clothing, and the occasional smile to a stranger. This life needs to be in plain sight, so we get the occasional smile back.

This is only one of the many reasons I am looking forward so much to performing again, and happy to be on my way to the UK concerts in a few weeks. It will be good to be on stage, sing the songs to others that have so long sung themselves to me.

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